Monday, February 10, 2014

Forever Alone? Yeah...

So here it is, the holiday most single people dread.
Valentines day!

I'm single. Always have been, hopefully not always will be, but if I am, then hey. I could be that cat lady, except with parrots... And a penguin...

I love you this much!

 Plus I'll have plenty of wine and chocolate, so... But the wine will have to wait for a couple years.... At least I still have you, chocolate!

But in truth, I really don't give a shit about being in a relationship. At least not at the moment. I want to keep all the chocolate to myself! Mwah ha ha!

*Eh-hem!* Anyway, what I'm really trying to tell you all is that some of you may be "forever alone" this Valentines day, but you have just got to enjoy it! Stay up late with that monstrous sized box of chocolates you've just eloped with, and watch a marathon of The Dead Files!

Why, you ask?

You won't have a partner to say, "oh man! I hate this show. Can we watch My Little Pony instead?"

Not that any man or woman would really suggest watching My Little Pony on Valentine's day. Alright, my imaginary couple, you need to compromise! Watch Toby play Slender instead! Just don't eat my chocolate.

Whether or not you're alone this Valentine's day, I hope your day is filled with chocolate! And perhaps, if you don't think it's too weird, all of us forever aloners could be each others Valentines. Just keep away from my chocolate.

Happy Valentines Day!


  1. Chocolate. .. the 1st.block in the pyramid of building blocks of the food chain

  2. Yup being single fricken rocks!! But no one realizes it! We are the smart ones!! Valentines day can just be another great day, but with more chocolate!!!